A cat, a rat and a mischievous ox
by Samsal
Summary: Haru is bored and how does he deal with that boredom. by getting his cousins involved of course.Can Yuki and Kyou survive against the storm that is Hatsuharu? find out inside...rated m for some language and slight yaoi suggestions...
1. let's get Yuki

**Disclaimer**: Samsal in no way owns fruits basket...

Okay this is my first Fruits Basket fanfic, however a have written a crossover with some characters from Naruto....anyway enjoy and review....

**A cat, a rat and a mischievous ox**

**Lets get Yuki**

"Ok you ready?"

"Are you sure this will work?" Kyo was surprised at what the ox had planned for their cousin. To him it seemed a stupid thing to do. "Where the hell did you come up with this dumb idea anyway?"

"I saw it on T.V. once and yes I'm sure it will work." The younger boy had been planning this for awhile. "Now go on, before he wakes up properly."

"Okay, okay…"

Kyo walked into the kitchen leaving Haru behind. He looked at Yuki who was still half asleep as he always was, when he came down for breakfast.

"Yuki" he said, calling the boy by his given name, which he rarely did.

"Yuki" he called again but said boy just ignored him.

"Yuki," still nothing.

"Yuki," blank stare. _"This is stupid_." he thought. _"Okay here goes nothing_" he sighed and continued.

"Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, Stupid rat, stupid rat, stupid rat, stupid rat, idiot prince, idiot prince, idiot prince, idiot prince, dumb mouse, dumb mouse, dumb mouse, dumb mouse…"

"What do you want, bastard cat?!" Yuki shouted out, finally fully awake and annoyed at his cousin.

"Chi…nothing." He smirked and ran, barely making it out of the room before an angry Yuki came behind him, passing Haru, who was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.

* * * * * *

"So did you do it?"

"Yes you idiot ox, now would you stop asking me? Geez!" Kyo almost yelled.

"Yuki won't know what hit him." Haru smirked barely showing any emotion as he did.

"Whatever, I don't know why you always drag me into doing your dirty work. I'm only doing it to see his face afterwards. Why do you want to do this anyway? I thought Yuki was your first love or something."

"Hmm…I was bored." The other boy struggled indifferently, "Why do you care? Is the little kitty cat jealous?"

"Shut up!" Kyo refused to look at his younger cousin, "I don't care…I was just asking."

"Where are you, you stupid cat?" Yuki yelled from upstairs clearly angry for some reason.

"I'm down here, you damn rat."

Yuki came downstairs and stood in front of his cousins with only a towel around his slim waist, his body still wet and glistening. As for his hair, his usually mousey colour was now a bright pink.

Haru and Kyo couldn't stop laughing as their newly pink haired relative scowled them. "Which one of you idiots did this?"

"What's wrong?" Kyo asked feigning concern. "You don't like the new shampoo? We got it just for you."

"Why you little…" Yuki punched Kyo in his nose, almost breaking it.

"Okay that's it you stinking rat! You're asking for it. Today's gonna be the day I finally beat you!"

"Only in your dreams…" he turned to Haru, "and you, I can't believe you're involved in this too."

"Now Yuki, you know I'd never do anything that childish to you." Haru was lying through his teeth.

"Bastard," Kyo couldn't believe he was taking all the blame for something in which he only had a small part to play.

"Don't worry Yuki," Haru was trying to console the rat "I won't let anyone see you like this."

As if on cue, Ayame, Shigure and Hatori walked into the kitchen.

"Yuki, what the hell did you do to your hair?" Hatori asked, trying his best to remain neutral as Ayame and Shigure began laughing at Yuki.

"Dear brother, you look horrible!" Ayame cut in before the boy could answer, "Is this some kind of new way of rebelling?" The snake reached out to his brother who simply knocked his hand away. "Oww Yuki, you don't have to be so mean! It's not my fault your attempt at fashion failed so miserably."

"Stop it Aya." Hatori told him seeing the rat's anger rising.

"Hey Yuki," Shigure joined in, "you know, when Tohru blushes, her cheeks get pink. When you blush, what colour does your hair turn? Awww, are you blushing now? Is that why hair is so pink?"

"Shut up!" Yuki turned to Kyo pointing at him, "I'm going to get you back for this. Just wait. You better hope this is temporary." He took what was left of is dignity and marched back up to the bathroom.

"Whatever!" Kyo called out behind him, "I can take anything you throw at me." He added to quietly to Haru, "It is temporary right?" and the cow nodded. The cat stomped out of the room angrily leaving everyone to wonder about the duo.

"Something tells me things are only going to get worse," Hatori stated

"I just hope it isn't at the cost of my house. Shit! I wish I had my camera!"

"Grow up Shigure and where are you going Haru?" Hatori looked him, eyes narrowed slightly.

"It's a mystery…" The ox answered before he went upstairs behind his now pink haired cousin.


	2. Let's get Kyo

Okay sorry for taking a while to update....yeah if it wasnt for Aiden Artimis i still wouldnt have finished it. sooo i dedicate this chappie to her for the threats and the blackmail that brought you this chapter. =)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own fruit baskets okay i admitted it. happy now?!

**Chapter 2**

**Let's get Kyo**

Yuki stared at his wrinkled hands and sighed internally. He had to wash his hair three times using the cat's shampoo since he couldn't use his own and it still had a slight pink tint to it. Sadly, exhaustion kicked in and he had no choice but to give up trying to get it all out at once. He'd get rid of it completely tomorrow after he'd bought a new shampoo, since he now smelled like his orange haired cousin. Stepping out of the bathroom finally, he saw a slightly blushing Hatsuharu staring at him.

"Not now Haru," he said, "I'm not in the mood."

"What's wrong Yuki? What happened?" Haru asked concerned "What did you do to your hair it looks kinda pinkish."

"Were you black when I came downstairs just now? Remember that idiot cat put pink hair dye in my shampoo."

"Well that wasn't very nice of him was it? Why would Kyo do such a thing anyway?"

Yuki didn't answer; he just raised a questioning brow at his cousin.

"Oh Right," Haru caught on, "Its Kyo. I don't even think he knows why he does half the things he does." He came up close to Yuki and placed a hand on his cheek. "If there is anyway that I can help, let me know okay."

As he said that, his hand started to move slowly down the other Sohma's body, trailing a path from his cheek to his chest and to much lower. Yuki stopped the hand before it got lower that his waist.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, you stupid ox?" Yuki pushed Haru back slightly. "What makes you think I'd ever let you touch me like that? Get away from me."

That's all it took for Haru to go black again and he remembered why he came up behind Yuki in the first place. "Yuki you better came down, you're hair is starting to turn pink again."

"Shut up Haru."

"Why should I? You know I only came up here to help you get back at mister kitty downstairs."

"I don't need any help getting back at that idiot."

"Really? How you plan to get back at him then?"

"…"

"What's the matter Yuki? Cat got you're tongue?" Haru stopped to laugh at his own joke before continuing. "I'm sorry but when it come to being devious, you're name just doesn't come to mind. So what do you say? Let me help you."

"Fine," Yuki said before going into his room to change, wondering what he had just gotten himself into.

* * * * * *

Yuki couldn't believe he had agreed to do this to Kyo. Yes, he wanted revenge for the pink hair, but this seemed a bit harsh. "I don't know about this Haru. Maybe we should do something else."

"Why Yuki, don't tell me you're chickening out, I thought that was more Kureno's style." Haru paused to laugh at his own joke again. "Kyo would more than ready to do this to you if he was in your place. Now shh he's coming."

* * * * * *

Kyo stood outside his room. Was it his imagination or did he just hear Yuki and Haru in there. He pushed the door, slowly inching his head in to see what they were doing. Two pairs of hands reached out and pulled him in the room.

He struggled against them, but it was useless. Yuki was hard enough to beat with out Haru there to help him. He could feel something being pushed on his pants, right above his butt.

"Hey! Get away from my ass!" he shouted

"Don't flatter yourself kitty." Haru was beginning to enjoy this a little too much. "This isn't personal…this time." He smacked Kyo on his behind.

"Hey get off me you stupid ox." Kyo yelled, struggling to get the two teens off him. "And what did I say about my ass?!" He could feel something being pressed to his head. "What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Playing dress up," Yuki flipped Kyo around so that they were now facing each other. "You know things would be a lot easier if you'd just stay still."

Haru started drawing on Kyo's face. "Traitor" Kyo stared at the ox accusingly, "After all I help you with, you turn on me."

"Sorry Kyo," Haru apologized while drawing, "You know Yuki will always come first, he is my first love after all. You said so yourself."

"Not that again Haru." Yuki sighed.

"Who was talking you, you damn rat?!" Common sense told Kyo that he should be nicer to his captives as they had the upper hand, but he couldn't help himself. "Haru you know when you go black, you really are a bastard."

Ignoring Kyo, Haru jumped up. "Okay all done. Yuki you can let go of Kyo now. Look in the mirror Kitty."

Kyo wanted to start another fight with his cousins, but he also wanted to see what to see they did so he looked in the mirror and almost died.

They had stuck an orange cat tail on his ass, kitty ears to his hair and worst of all; they had had drawn whiskers and a black kitty nose to his face. He looked like he was ready to go trick-or-treating.

He turned around to look at them, he was speechless. As he turned he saw one flash and then another as his cousins took pictures of him.

"Hey give me those cameras!" he pushed and fought, until Yuki had him pinned again. "Get off me, you fucking rat! I hate you."

"You better watch what you say idiot cat." Yuki smirked, "I'm sure Shigure would love these pictures or even better how about I show everyone at school."

"You…you wouldn't," Kyo was horrified. If anyone saw those pictures he would be able to show his face again. No one would take him seriously, not to mention how embarrassed he would feel. He tried grabbed for them from Yuki again, but unfortunately the rat knocked him out.

"What do we do now?" Yuki asked Haru.

"I have an idea."

* * * * * *

Kagura was surprised when she heard someone knocking on her door. "_Now who could be here to see me so late?"_ she wondered, as she peered outside into the darkness. Slowly she opened the door, flabbergasted at what she saw. In a basket all curled up was Kyo, he was dressed as a kitty and he was fast asleep.

"Ahh! Just what I prayed for! Oh finally! Thank you god!" She squealed before she pushed the basket with the unconscious teen inside.

* * * * * *

Yuki looked at Kagura from behind the bushes he and Haru were currently hiding. "Why do I feel like we just handed him over to the devil."

**Stay tuned for chapter: Revenge is sweet Hatsuharu Sohma**! and dont forget to review this one.


	3. Revenge is Sweet, Hatsuharu Sohma!

**Disclaimer: **I dont know why i write this ever chapter....im starting to annoy myself. okay i do not own Fruits Basket

Sorry for taking so long...getting back at Haru wasnt easy. i dedicate this chappie to all those who waited patiently for it. i hope it was worth the wait. so enjoy and read and review.

**Chapter 3**

**Revenge is sweet Hatsuharu Sohma!**

"_I wonder where Kyo is."_ Yuki thought, _"He's been gone for two days now and even I'm starting to get worried."_

Haru had gone home since he and Yuki had gotten back at Kyo, so the rat was happy to have the alone time. He probably wouldn't admit it out loud to anyone, but he missed seeing the stupid cat brooding around the house, arguing with him and getting into fights with him.

"Back from your little trip Kyo?" He heard Shigure say. "Where did you go this time?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Kyo answered.

"Kyo," Yuki came into the room and started walking towards the other teen.

Kyo glared at him and Yuki was surprised at the defeated look in his eyes. "What do you want rat?"

"What happened to you?"

"What do you care?" Kyo walked away and went up his room. Yuki followed him leaving Shigure with a lot of perverted thoughts forming in his mind about what they would be doing.

"What happened to you?" Yuki asked again closing Kyo's door.

His question went unanswered as Kyo lay on his bed.

Yuki was getting worried and guilt started to seep in as he looked at the other Sohma's depressed face. "Listen Kyo, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I just wanted to get back at you so badly for putting hair dye in my shampoo, I wasn't thinking straight. I would have never done all that to you if Haru hadn't been so persistent."

Kyo started to laugh, "Haru huh? That bastard, after I helped him too. I should've known."

"What are you talking about?"

"You stupid rat! Do you really think I'd waste my time messing with your beauty products? That was all Haru's doing. All I did was put the bottle back after he stole it. I didn't even know what he did to it until you came downstairs.

Yuki cradled in his head in his hands. "Okay Kyo, I'm sorry. Haru planned your dare too. I feel a bit guilty for going along with it. I see we both fell it his plan."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore anyway, besides being sorry isn't going to change anything. I still can't believe I let that dumb ox trick me. Well it seems like there is only one thing we can do…"

"And what is that?"

"Get back at him."

* * * * * *

"Hey Haru, can I talk to you a minute?" Yuki asked.

"Anything for you, Yuki my love."

"Yes…uh huh, well I've been thinking about you lately."

"Really?" Haru's brow shot up in surprise.

"Ever since you helped me get back at Kyo," Yuki came closer to the ox, "I've been thinking of a way to repay you for that."

Haru's eyes filled with lust and he turned black as he thought about all the different ways and positions Yuki could repay him. "Well Yuki, you don't have too, but if you insist, I can think of a few ways you can repay me that we'd both enjoy."

Yuki tried his best not to shudder when he heard the suggestive tone in Haru's voice. "Anyway, I paid a visit to Ayame's shop and I saw something that reminded me of you."

"What is it?"

"It's in the bag over there."

Haru looked in the bag and couldn't believe what he saw. "Well somebody has a kinky side…"

"Yes well …" Yuki was trying to hide his discomfort, "aren't you going to try it on?"

"Oh, desperate to see me in it are you Yuki. You're lucky I'd do anything for you." The ox came up and kissed the rat on his cheek before heading off towards the bathroom to change.

"Finally, I thought never leave." Kyo said as he came out from under the bed.

"Explain to me again why I had to be the one who has to do this?" Yuki was exhausted.

"Because, you're the only one who could get him to wear the stupid outfit."

They heard footsteps coming towards the room.

"Okay he's coming back…" Yuki pushed Kyo back under the bed.

"Okay, okay, you don't have to push you damn rat, I'm going. I don't know which one of you is more eager you or that bastard. How the hell did he get dressed so quickly anyway? Oh and don't start making out with him right in front of my face okay. I'm not in a hurry to see two of my cousins helping each other get off, I wanna be able to use my eyes after today."

Yuki glared at him until he went back under the bed.

"You ready Yuki?"Haru called from behind the door.

"Yeah I'm ready."

Haru came in the room and Yuki tried his best to hold back a laugh. The ox was dressed in a short dress that kind of looked like a French maid's uniform. It was covered with white and brown cow prints all over it. The bottom of the outfit barely reached mid thigh and it had a small apron in the front.

"Now Yuki you know this would look much better on you."  
"Actually Haru I like how you look in that. I hope you don't mind wearing these for me too." Yuki pulled out a pair of fur covered handcuffs.

"Oh Yuki you keep surprising me. I think I like this side of you, I can't wait to see all the fun we'll have." Haru came up to Yuki and allowed himself to be cuffed.

Kyo came out as soon as Yuki was done with the cow. "You really are stupid Haru. I can't believe you fell for that"

"Kyo?! What the hell are you doing in here?!" Haru exclaimed. "I never pegged you for a peeping Tom. If you wanted to join you could have just said so."

"Haru don't be an idiot. He's helping me get back at you for tricking us. Oh we have another surprise for you." Yuki turned to Kyo, "Kyo would you like to do the honours?"  
"Sure," Kyo smiled then called out. "Shigure, Ayame get in here!"

Shigure and Ayame came in with cameras in their hands.

"Oh Aya, you out did yourself this time!" Shigure exclaimed as he saw Haru's outfit.

"Shigure how could you expect any less of me?!" Ayame put a hand over his heart. "Dear brother, when are you coming for me to do a dress for you?"

"Never…"

"Yuki how could you?!" Haru called out to him as he and the cat neared the door.

"You turned my hair pink." Yuki said before his voice darkened and he added, "Nobody messes with my hair."

"Who knew the rat had a dark side?" Kyo chuckled as he closed the door behind them, leaving the ox with two of the most perverted people in his family.

* * * * * *

In the morning paper a few days after, there was a picture of Shigure and Ayame outside of the snake's shop. However the most interesting thing was the blown up picture that could be seen next to them in the shop's display window. It was a picture of Haru in the dress and still in handcuffs. Included at the bottom of the picture were the words; '_We make your fantasies come to life.'_

After that Haru found new ways to get rid of his boredom that did not include his cousins, who threatened to next time dress him up and leave him in the middle of nowhere to find his way home on his own.

Oh and on a side note, Aya's store became extremely popular and soon his fashion graced runways and red carpets. Every month he gives the rat, the cat and the mischievous ox ten percent each of his profits. **The End.**

**I hope you liked it. I'm not 100% satisfied but it still turned out good. As an added plus I may be willing to Draw Kyo and Haru's outfit for you if you want to see what it really looks like. i might be willing if enough people want to see how they look and if I can get rid of my Shikamaru complex long enough to draw it. so tata for now and read The Wormhole for more Fruits Baskety goodness mixed up with some Naruto flavour. =)**


	4. finally

Okay there is no chapter four…just a link to deviant art that has the picture of Haru that I promised that I would draw…it's not the best quality but since I didn't get to scan it, it is the best I can do. Anyway enjoy and maybe next time I'll colour it also… Here is the link;

**http:// samsal1 .deviantart .com /art /Haru-from-fruits-baskets-157804932 **remove the spaces and it should be fine. it was some trouble getting it here so sorry if you got like three messages about it. i do apologizes **  
**


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